Who’s on First for Today’s Tech Happy Society

By | December 30, 2018

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have turned out something like this: 

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT:  Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO:  Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer. 
ABBOTT:  Mac?
COSTELLO:  No, the name’s Lou.
ABBOTT:  Your computer?
COSTELLO : I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT:  Mac?
COSTELLO:  I told you, my name’s Lou.
ABBOTT:  What about Windows? 
COSTELLO:  Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT:  Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO:  I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT:  Wallpaper.
COSTELLO:  Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: 
 Software for Windows?
COSTELLO:  No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals,   track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT:  Office.
COSTELLO:  Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: 
 I just did.
COSTELLO:  You just did what?
ABBOTT:  Recommend something.
COSTELLO:  You recommended something?
ABBOTT:  Yes.
COSTELLO:  For my office?
ABBOTT:  Yes.
COSTELLO:  OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT:  Office.
COSTELLO:  Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT:  I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO:  I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? 
ABBOTT:  Word.
COSTELLO:  What word?
ABBOTT:  Word in Office.
COSTELLO:  The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO:  Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: 
 The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.
COSTELLO:  I’m going to click your blue ‘W’ if you don’t start with some straight answers.   What about financial bookkeeping? Do you have anything I can track my money with? 
ABBOTT:  Money.
COSTELLO:  That’s right. What do you have?
ABBOTT:  Money.
COSTELLO:  I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT:  It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO:  What’s bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: 
 Money.
COSTELLO:  Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT:  Yes. At no extra charge.
COSTELLO:  I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT:  One copy.
COSTELLO:  Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: 
 Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO:  They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT:  Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)
ABBOTT: 
 Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO:  How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT:Click on ‘START.’